Dawning Realizations

Yesterday I had the opportunity to preach at a church outside of my denomination, something I have not yet had the pleasure of doing. My dear friend Suzanne who began, endured and completed seminary with me (truth be told she dragged me through a lot of it, God bless her) invited me to guest preach at her church Riverside Avenue Christian Church as they are waiting for an interim to begin February 1 and searching for the replacement for their recently retired Senior Pastor. Suzanne is Associate Pastor and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that they have not heaped the full burden of pastoral responsibility on her shoulders but they have been using retired and invited guest clergy to help with the pulpit duties. Good on them, many churches would not have given her that level of support.

So I told you all that to tell you this... I have discovered that I love to preach and that I actually enjoy public speaking! This may not seem like a monumental revelation to you but when I consider my background this is huge. I did not go to college at the "appropriate" time. Instead I married and began a family at a very young age. It wasn't until I was 38 years old that God led me to the admissions office of the local community college without one clue what I wanted to do or how I would pay for it. And the story of that journey is one for another day. The point I want to make here is that in one of my very early classes at FCCJ I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory and when I received the results I learned that my "I" - my introversion score was so very strong that it was a miracle I could come out from under my desk. That sucker was so far over to the left (the introvert side) there was hardly any room to move it further. My "E" or extroversion factor was zip. Zero. Nada. Non-existent. And yet here I stand 14 years and 4 degrees later getting a total charge out of preaching God's Word in a pulpit of a church where the majority of the congregation doesn't even know me. That, my friends, is a flat-out miracle. I thoroughly enjoy preaching in my own church, but it is home to me. I was born and raised in that church and the congregation is very much my family so the fear factor has long since diminished. I have also been a guest speaker at other UM churches in my community but again, have felt the security of being among friends and family. I have also had many opportunities to speak at community events through past jobs and as a member of various community organizations and I have learned to enjoy that as well. But yesterday was different, somehow. This should have been totally out of my comfort zone and yet it felt like the most natural thing ever. As I think about that and ponder the implications I am amazed, humbled and exhilarated all at the same time. When you get the opportunity to do something that feels so much like it "fits" - like it was exactly what I was meant to be doing at that particular time, it makes you stop and consider things for a bit.

I have a prayer, actually it's part of a hymn, that I say every day. Sometimes I say it a lot of times during the day when I am searching (begging!) for discernment from God. It says, "Lead me Lord. Lead me in Thy righteousness. Make Thy way plain before my face." It's hardly ever obvious but when I reflect back it's irrefutable that God does, indeed, answer that prayer for me. I just keep taking the next step that presents itself with as much faith as I can muster and the path has taken an obscenely insecure introvert and grown her into someone who is developing a passion for speaking God's Truth at any opportunity. And that, my friends, is a flat-out miracle. Thanks be to God.