A Reminder

As often happens when doing pastoral care, I found myself looking square in the face of my mortality this afternoon. We tend to live "in the moment" most of the time and get so caught up in our day to day struggles but sometimes things happen to make us stop short and get a new perspective, realigning our priorities. I'm telling you people, life is so short and things can go south in the blink of an eye. So I'm just trying to remind you (and myself) not to get caught up in the things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Enjoy your life, treat others kindly, overlook the petty small things and be grateful for whatever the good things are in your life. It's apt to be gone before you know it.

Virtual Support Group

Okay, since you all know that I'm still struggling with the job search and trying to maintain some shred of self-esteem I have decided to create here at LPIAEW a virtual support group for unemployed and underemployed job seekers. All are welcome to post pertinent information and encouraging words in the comments and I will post some of the better tips and resources I find in my ongoing search. Today's tip is advice on how to make real connections at networking events. It's not enough to just show up and talk to folks you already know - you're there to expand your contacts so here's some advice that may help. I welcome your input and the sharing of experiences.

Secret Weapon

The news is gloomier and gloomier every day it seems. Unemployment is getting higher, jobs are getting scarcer and well, the times... they are hard. I spoke in my last post about just how difficult it is to deal with the rejection involved in a prolonged job search. It gets to the point where you just stop wanting to talk about the jobs you've applied for. On the one hand, I don't want anyone thinking that I'm not trying but on the other hand it's just so disheartening to get excited about a prospect and talk about it and then have to tell folks again that you didn't get it. You begin to imagine that everyone is starting to see a great big loser "L" smack in the middle of your forehead when they look at you. So I just keep applying, sending out several resumes almost every day along with appropriately enthusiastic cover letters and then I hang on to my secret weapon for dear life. The thing that keeps me from lying down in the road and letting cars run over me. And that thing is faith. Faith that God is there with me, that he loves me and has plans to give me hope and a future just as he did for Jeremiah. Some days I'm only able to hang on to the tiniest thread of faith but you know what? That's enough. God, who created the universe and created me holds tight to the other end. I wish I could say that I'm serenely anticipating a superfantastic outcome at any moment but I just can't. I'm almost eaten up with anxiety a good deal of the time which is definitely not a Pollyanna attribute. But that tiny thread is the thing that keeps me from being totally overwhelmed by it. God never promised that life would be easy, that we wouldn't have difficulty in life. But he did promise to be there with me and for me. And that is the secret that makes all the difference. Thanks be to God.

The Valley of the Shadow

It happens with chilling regularity. We get on fire in a spiritual way about something and it's like putting a big giant target on top of our head for trouble. I've seen it play out in church over and over and it happens in life as well. Seems as though ever since I began this blog as an addition to the arsenal against negativity that I've been just swamped with wave after wave of despair and disappointment. I was already feeling more than a bit despondent about the unemployment issue. I swear, not being hired after what seem to be most excellent interviews feels just as bad as not being picked for the kickball team when you're 10. Seriously. I'm a grownup and I haven't grown emotionally enough to not take professional rejection so personally? And after all that time and money spent on counseling? Really? What the heck?

Yes, I tell myself that it's because God has something better for me. And yes, I understand that it's a tough and really tight job market but it's gotten to the point that when I do get hired I can see myself gushing like Sally Field at the Oscars... "You LIKE me... you really like me!" Gah!

And it makes me angry to be under fire like that and to see it happen in church and in other people's lives. Yes, chronically happy people can and do get angry. And sad. It would be way too weird if they didn't. But my anger comes because I believe deep in my heart that evil is behind it. I know it's unsophisticated and irrational in today's enlightened cultural psyche to believe in a force of evil but too darn bad. I do. If God's original plan is for us to be happy then I believe that Satan's counter plan is for us to be miserable. And I think sometimes he is winning the battles even if I know he will never win the war. (Did you ever wonder why no one argues for gender neutral language when it comes to the devil? Anyhoo...)

So my point here, I guess, is first to say that even if (or perhaps especially if) you vow to fight the negative culture and make a decision to be a happy person, you should not be surprised to find yourself up against a counter force that would rather you give up and give in to doubt, despair and despondency. And second, that I will not. I'll channel my inner Churchill and "never, never, never give up!" Because no matter what happens in the day to day battles - in the end... God wins. My Redeemer lives. I may get bloodied in the battle but as long as I can hang on to that one micro-thin but unbreakable thread of Truth then I will be there to claim victory when the war is finished. So there.

Now that I've taken that stand if you hear that a piano has fallen on my head you will understand why. But you'll know that I'm still on the winning side. Amen.

Celebrate!

I am attending the 25th Anniversary of women's retreats at the Life Enrichment Center in Leesburg, Florida. The theme is Celebrate! and the keynote speaker is Rev. Geraldine McClellan. She flat out rocks. She was the first black woman to be ordained in the Florida Conference and is an amazing speaker. The OT scripture is Isaiah 55:12 but she is preaching from the entire chapter.
Some highlights of her talks so far:

* Come all you thirsty - come live that your soul may live!!!
* In His Invitation to Contentment God gives 2 offers too good to pass up -
1) The Right Provisions - water (new birth), wine (unspeakable joy) and milk (the Word)
2) The Right Price - Sin and the world will make you pay dearly for every offer of contentment. God's gift of contentment is free, anybody can receive them. There is no cost, no level of righteousness to reach, no deeds to perform.
* God's plan is for you to be happy (does that sound familiar AUMC folks?)

Favorite quote so far: "Disciples get made by hearing your story. The woman at the well had to go tell others and the "folk" did not want to hear her because of her past. But because she had to go tell, because she could not stop telling, 3,000+ were saved. We do not forget where we came from. The forgiven don't forget to give God the Glory."

Dawning Realizations

Yesterday I had the opportunity to preach at a church outside of my denomination, something I have not yet had the pleasure of doing. My dear friend Suzanne who began, endured and completed seminary with me (truth be told she dragged me through a lot of it, God bless her) invited me to guest preach at her church Riverside Avenue Christian Church as they are waiting for an interim to begin February 1 and searching for the replacement for their recently retired Senior Pastor. Suzanne is Associate Pastor and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that they have not heaped the full burden of pastoral responsibility on her shoulders but they have been using retired and invited guest clergy to help with the pulpit duties. Good on them, many churches would not have given her that level of support.

So I told you all that to tell you this... I have discovered that I love to preach and that I actually enjoy public speaking! This may not seem like a monumental revelation to you but when I consider my background this is huge. I did not go to college at the "appropriate" time. Instead I married and began a family at a very young age. It wasn't until I was 38 years old that God led me to the admissions office of the local community college without one clue what I wanted to do or how I would pay for it. And the story of that journey is one for another day. The point I want to make here is that in one of my very early classes at FCCJ I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory and when I received the results I learned that my "I" - my introversion score was so very strong that it was a miracle I could come out from under my desk. That sucker was so far over to the left (the introvert side) there was hardly any room to move it further. My "E" or extroversion factor was zip. Zero. Nada. Non-existent. And yet here I stand 14 years and 4 degrees later getting a total charge out of preaching God's Word in a pulpit of a church where the majority of the congregation doesn't even know me. That, my friends, is a flat-out miracle. I thoroughly enjoy preaching in my own church, but it is home to me. I was born and raised in that church and the congregation is very much my family so the fear factor has long since diminished. I have also been a guest speaker at other UM churches in my community but again, have felt the security of being among friends and family. I have also had many opportunities to speak at community events through past jobs and as a member of various community organizations and I have learned to enjoy that as well. But yesterday was different, somehow. This should have been totally out of my comfort zone and yet it felt like the most natural thing ever. As I think about that and ponder the implications I am amazed, humbled and exhilarated all at the same time. When you get the opportunity to do something that feels so much like it "fits" - like it was exactly what I was meant to be doing at that particular time, it makes you stop and consider things for a bit.

I have a prayer, actually it's part of a hymn, that I say every day. Sometimes I say it a lot of times during the day when I am searching (begging!) for discernment from God. It says, "Lead me Lord. Lead me in Thy righteousness. Make Thy way plain before my face." It's hardly ever obvious but when I reflect back it's irrefutable that God does, indeed, answer that prayer for me. I just keep taking the next step that presents itself with as much faith as I can muster and the path has taken an obscenely insecure introvert and grown her into someone who is developing a passion for speaking God's Truth at any opportunity. And that, my friends, is a flat-out miracle. Thanks be to God.

This is the last of a 3-part post from a recent sermon I preached at Avondale UMC called "Make Me Happy!" about deciding what your attitude toward life will be. I hope you have been blessed and perhaps inspired by the reading of it. B. =8- )

The third thing is to spread the happy around. The good news is that this is incredibly easy to do. Here is an article that was printed in the Times Union just last week – it says “Upbeat is tough to beat.” Apparently, happiness spreads faster and farther than we ever thought. A recent study published in the British Medical Journal followed more than 4,700 people over a 20-year period and found that people who are happy tend to rub off on the people around them, including friends, families, co-workers and neighbors. When one person was happy the chances that people they deal with regularly would become happy went up between 8 and 34% and a ripple effect followed that. Those influenced by a happy person influenced an average of three other people down the line although the ripple effect does begin to lessen as it spreads. The article says that if you’re looking for a gift that keeps on giving be a happier person and you’ll be passing on a blessing that spreads like a smile. I have always liked to watch the effect that being upbeat has on other people. It’s a fun little game you can play – whenever you are out doing your errands and you run across a grumpy, frowny person be extra nice and pleasant to them. It almost never fails that they will do a complete turnaround, it’s kind of a power trip, actually. At the very least it will stop them short because it’s so unexpected. We are so used to returning grouchiness with grouchiness. The “Random act of kindness” thing may seem a little trite but it really does work, especially when you return kindness for grumpiness. Happiness is more contagious than measles.

So what is it going to be with you? Will you settle for Cal’s brand of happiness? Will you just be “happy enough” – not giving much, not getting much, not expecting much? Or will you go for the gusto and make the effort to find joyful satisfaction in being who you are, who God intended for you to be? Fr. Powell suggests that a special piece of God’s truth has been given to each one of us and that the path to attaining that joyful satisfaction lies in sharing that truth with those around us.

In Psalm 16, David shows us how it is done. He writes:

1 Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.
2 I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."
3 As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.
4 The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips.
5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
11 You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

That seems to me to be the much better choice - to set the Lord always before me so that I will know the path of life and be filled with the joy of His presence. To have my heart be glad and my tongue rejoice. How can I not share that joy, that happiness with everyone I meet?