Living Pollyanna in an Eyore World

Good advice

2011-07-06T13:16:00.000-07:00

Best advice of the day:

Growl less. Wag more.

Being Pollyanna is Hard (apologies to Stephen Green)

2011-07-02T07:57:00.000-07:00

During this past week:

I attended the memorial service for the husband of a dear friend who drowned on their honeymoon
I found out that my BFF's pancreatic tumor has been rendered "all dead" from the radiation and chemo, there is no sign of other tumors and she is officially in remission
I visited a beautiful hospice patient who is only a few years older than me whose body is being ravaged by ALS. She welcomes my visits with joy on her face and loves to pat my face with the one arm & hand that still work. She loves Jesus and cries tears of joy when I pray.
My community group that was formed to make our neighborhood a better place to live is imploding due to grown people acting like spoiled pre-teenagers.

Guess which one makes me not want to give a rat's rear? And yet I feel compelled to love, care, and pray for them all, even the badly-behaved ones. Sometimes being Pollyanna is a pain in MY rear. Good thing that God provides what I can't muster up for myself.

Unforgettable...

2011-06-29T15:47:00.000-07:00

I have noticed something in my visits with hospice patients who have dementia. There is one thing that will often get a reaction out of them when nothing else will and that is to sing "Jesus Loves Me" to them. Often, dementia patients who can't put together a coherent thought much less a sentence will join me in singing the entire song. It's a beautiful thing.

Jesus loves me, this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to him belong
they are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

Amen.

Prayer du jour

2010-10-12T12:33:00.000-07:00

St. Theresa's Prayer:

May today there be peace within.

May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you....

May you be content knowing you are a child of the universe....

Let this presence settle into your bones, and
allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is here for every one of us.--Unknown

Happiness is an Inside Job

2010-10-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

I started leading a book study yesterday on John Powell's book Happiness Is An Inside Job. Great little book that helped me to learn that I am the one and only person who is responsible for my own happiness. It doesn't come from anything or anyone else and I can't pursue it directly. It comes as a byproduct of doing other things. Conversely, nothing and no one else can make me unhappy. It is my choice how I act and react to people and situations in my life.

God, help me to act more thoughtfully and deliberately and to react less and less. Amen!

Get Certified!

2010-09-16T18:41:00.000-07:00

I think everyone deserves to have one of these

certificate of right to play

That's Irritating

2010-08-16T06:03:00.000-07:00

"But in a sense I welcome irritation. Irritation keeps you alert. It keeps you from settling down too long in one spot. For a speaker, it forces him or her to find new approaches, new insights. Who knows, if people get enough sand in their shell they may, like the oyster, make a pearl. Without the challenge of irritation it is possible to answer questions eloquently that no one is asking, to invent cures for disease that no one has." - Dr. Maurice Berquist, The Miracle and Power of Blessing

Well that is certainly a different way of looking at life's irritations than I have seen before. I know that God speaks to us in many different ways but I have certainly never thought of life's irritations as a being a message from the Lord. I have just thought they were irritating. I guess I am going to have to pay closer attention when God is trying to tell me something.

I found this book on the Two Listener's website this morning and it looks like a veritable gold mine of blog posts so stay tuned.

Hello..... can you hear Me?

2010-08-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

“The moment you wake up each morning, all your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists in shoving it all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other, larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in.” - C.S. Lewis

That is one profound and amazing thought right there. And I think it holds the key to living the better, happier life. "They" may say that you are what you eat but I think you are what you think is closer to the truth. (Or at least I hope so because otherwise I'm comprised mainly of chocolate and ice cream, cashews, cherry twizzlers and fiber one chocolate pop tarts.) In fact I think it's spot on the truth. The key is to hold not only your wishes and hopes at bay, but your fears and your worries and your distractions as well until you can stop and listen long enough to hear that "other, larger, stronger, quieter" voice's comfort and guidance and inspiration. Some folks say that we can't hear God speaking anymore like our ancestors did. I think it's just that it's gotten way to noisy for us to hear him anymore. We're drowning him out with all the noise and the "stuff" in our lives and in our world. The trick is to learn to hold it all back long enough to get quiet for a little bit of time every day so that we can pay attention and then we will hear. God hasn't stopped talking, we've just quit listening. Or we've tuned our ears only to hear other sounds, other voices. And they're not the ones who can or will bring us peace. Shhhh.... are you listening?

Re-start

2010-07-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is, a little more than two years since I last posted here. Not that I have ignored you on purpose, little blog, but life just got too busy and complicated. But you've always been in my heart and now I'm back. Back to consider and comment on things both holy and bizarre. Because life (mine at least) is compromised of such. And it's much more enjoyable and interesting to do so. For example, here is a post by someone named Kurt who is right on the money as long as by when he says "me" or "Kurt" he is actually talking about me, Ms. Pollyanna....

RIP Michael

2009-06-27T05:33:00.000-07:00

I can't say exactly why I've not had much to say here for so many months. I have my suspicions but that's a thought for another day. Today I'm just compelled to comment after having looked at this video after the death of Michael Jackson and be struck wondering about the demons that must have moved in and taken over at some point. It's clear that they destroyed him and who knows how many with him. This performance was inspirational almost to the point of a revival experience with the Gospel choir and the exhortation to look inward and begin the change that can make a difference in the world. I'm going to have to go search for the complete lyrics now to think about this a little more but just making a comparison to this performance vise the increasing anger (not to mention just bat spit craziness) in his work and life is startling and starkly disturbing to me. Most of us don't have to contend with demons on this level to get us off track, I wonder what could have happened had they been conquered.

The Women with Jesus

2009-04-10T13:58:00.000-07:00

So I agreed to be in a production of "The Other Twelve Disciples" at church this year. I have successfully avoided being cast in this production previously but this year I decided, what the heck and signed up. I got to play "Lazy Mary" as I referred to my part, Mary of Bethany. She's the one who would much rather sit at Jesus' feet listening to his stories and teachings much to the annoyance of her busy sister Martha. Not too much of a stretch actually...

Anyhoo... as we were rehearsing our various parts I came to realize that my part and another one and possibly even one more were the same woman! Directly after I finished speaking about myself, Martha, Lazarus, Jesus raising Lazarus and annointing Jesus, bathing his feet with my tears and wiping them with my hair, the next character, the woman with the alabaster jar, spoke of the very same incident with the annointing and the tears and the hair.... We have had this play at our church for many years and the script no longer has an author attached if it ever did so I don't know who wrote it originally. But apparently it was enough of a stretch for them to find 12 women associated with Jesus that he or she had to attribute stories of one woman to two. If you add Mary Magdalene to the mix, whom some folks believe is the same Mary of Bethany then there are three. So, I just rewrote my part to expand the first two sections and I left off the last one all together and let the alabaster jar woman take the whole annointing, washing, wiping scene for herself. Everyone seemed to enjoy the whole thing and it was kind of fun. Don't know if I'll ever volunteer to do it again but at least I can say I had the experience. And I'm always glad to bring some attention to the women who served Jesus and ministered with him. I'm going to be interested to find out just how much we didn't know about them when I get the chance to meet them in person.

A Reminder

2009-03-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

As often happens when doing pastoral care, I found myself looking square in the face of my mortality this afternoon. We tend to live "in the moment" most of the time and get so caught up in our day to day struggles but sometimes things happen to make us stop short and get a new perspective, realigning our priorities. I'm telling you people, life is so short and things can go south in the blink of an eye. So I'm just trying to remind you (and myself) not to get caught up in the things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Enjoy your life, treat others kindly, overlook the petty small things and be grateful for whatever the good things are in your life. It's apt to be gone before you know it.

Virtual Support Group

2009-02-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

Okay, since you all know that I'm still struggling with the job search and trying to maintain some shred of self-esteem I have decided to create here at LPIAEW a virtual support group for unemployed and underemployed job seekers. All are welcome to post pertinent information and encouraging words in the comments and I will post some of the better tips and resources I find in my ongoing search. Today's tip is advice on how to make real connections at networking events. It's not enough to just show up and talk to folks you already know - you're there to expand your contacts so here's some advice that may help. I welcome your input and the sharing of experiences.

Secret Weapon

2009-02-06T19:15:00.000-08:00

The news is gloomier and gloomier every day it seems. Unemployment is getting higher, jobs are getting scarcer and well, the times... they are hard. I spoke in my last post about just how difficult it is to deal with the rejection involved in a prolonged job search. It gets to the point where you just stop wanting to talk about the jobs you've applied for. On the one hand, I don't want anyone thinking that I'm not trying but on the other hand it's just so disheartening to get excited about a prospect and talk about it and then have to tell folks again that you didn't get it. You begin to imagine that everyone is starting to see a great big loser "L" smack in the middle of your forehead when they look at you. So I just keep applying, sending out several resumes almost every day along with appropriately enthusiastic cover letters and then I hang on to my secret weapon for dear life. The thing that keeps me from lying down in the road and letting cars run over me. And that thing is faith. Faith that God is there with me, that he loves me and has plans to give me hope and a future just as he did for Jeremiah. Some days I'm only able to hang on to the tiniest thread of faith but you know what? That's enough. God, who created the universe and created me holds tight to the other end. I wish I could say that I'm serenely anticipating a superfantastic outcome at any moment but I just can't. I'm almost eaten up with anxiety a good deal of the time which is definitely not a Pollyanna attribute. But that tiny thread is the thing that keeps me from being totally overwhelmed by it. God never promised that life would be easy, that we wouldn't have difficulty in life. But he did promise to be there with me and for me. And that is the secret that makes all the difference. Thanks be to God.

The Valley of the Shadow

2009-01-30T08:00:00.001-08:00

It happens with chilling regularity. We get on fire in a spiritual way about something and it's like putting a big giant target on top of our head for trouble. I've seen it play out in church over and over and it happens in life as well. Seems as though ever since I began this blog as an addition to the arsenal against negativity that I've been just swamped with wave after wave of despair and disappointment. I was already feeling more than a bit despondent about the unemployment issue. I swear, not being hired after what seem to be most excellent interviews feels just as bad as not being picked for the kickball team when you're 10. Seriously. I'm a grownup and I haven't grown emotionally enough to not take professional rejection so personally? And after all that time and money spent on counseling? Really? What the heck?

Yes, I tell myself that it's because God has something better for me. And yes, I understand that it's a tough and really tight job market but it's gotten to the point that when I do get hired I can see myself gushing like Sally Field at the Oscars... "You LIKE me... you really like me!" Gah!

And it makes me angry to be under fire like that and to see it happen in church and in other people's lives. Yes, chronically happy people can and do get angry. And sad. It would be way too weird if they didn't. But my anger comes because I believe deep in my heart that evil is behind it. I know it's unsophisticated and irrational in today's enlightened cultural psyche to believe in a force of evil but too darn bad. I do. If God's original plan is for us to be happy then I believe that Satan's counter plan is for us to be miserable. And I think sometimes he is winning the battles even if I know he will never win the war. (Did you ever wonder why no one argues for gender neutral language when it comes to the devil? Anyhoo...)

So my point here, I guess, is first to say that even if (or perhaps especially if) you vow to fight the negative culture and make a decision to be a happy person, you should not be surprised to find yourself up against a counter force that would rather you give up and give in to doubt, despair and despondency. And second, that I will not. I'll channel my inner Churchill and "never, never, never give up!" Because no matter what happens in the day to day battles - in the end... God wins. My Redeemer lives. I may get bloodied in the battle but as long as I can hang on to that one micro-thin but unbreakable thread of Truth then I will be there to claim victory when the war is finished. So there.

Now that I've taken that stand if you hear that a piano has fallen on my head you will understand why. But you'll know that I'm still on the winning side. Amen.

Celebrate!

2009-01-24T15:34:00.000-08:00

I am attending the 25th Anniversary of women's retreats at the Life Enrichment Center in Leesburg, Florida. The theme is Celebrate! and the keynote speaker is Rev. Geraldine McClellan. She flat out rocks. She was the first black woman to be ordained in the Florida Conference and is an amazing speaker. The OT scripture is Isaiah 55:12 but she is preaching from the entire chapter.
Some highlights of her talks so far:

* Come all you thirsty - come live that your soul may live!!!
* In His Invitation to Contentment God gives 2 offers too good to pass up -
1) The Right Provisions - water (new birth), wine (unspeakable joy) and milk (the Word)
2) The Right Price - Sin and the world will make you pay dearly for every offer of contentment. God's gift of contentment is free, anybody can receive them. There is no cost, no level of righteousness to reach, no deeds to perform.
* God's plan is for you to be happy (does that sound familiar AUMC folks?)

Favorite quote so far: "Disciples get made by hearing your story. The woman at the well had to go tell others and the "folk" did not want to hear her because of her past. But because she had to go tell, because she could not stop telling, 3,000+ were saved. We do not forget where we came from. The forgiven don't forget to give God the Glory."

Dawning Realizations

2009-01-19T08:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had the opportunity to preach at a church outside of my denomination, something I have not yet had the pleasure of doing. My dear friend Suzanne who began, endured and completed seminary with me (truth be told she dragged me through a lot of it, God bless her) invited me to guest preach at her church Riverside Avenue Christian Church as they are waiting for an interim to begin February 1 and searching for the replacement for their recently retired Senior Pastor. Suzanne is Associate Pastor and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that they have not heaped the full burden of pastoral responsibility on her shoulders but they have been using retired and invited guest clergy to help with the pulpit duties. Good on them, many churches would not have given her that level of support.

So I told you all that to tell you this... I have discovered that I love to preach and that I actually enjoy public speaking! This may not seem like a monumental revelation to you but when I consider my background this is huge. I did not go to college at the "appropriate" time. Instead I married and began a family at a very young age. It wasn't until I was 38 years old that God led me to the admissions office of the local community college without one clue what I wanted to do or how I would pay for it. And the story of that journey is one for another day. The point I want to make here is that in one of my very early classes at FCCJ I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory and when I received the results I learned that my "I" - my introversion score was so very strong that it was a miracle I could come out from under my desk. That sucker was so far over to the left (the introvert side) there was hardly any room to move it further. My "E" or extroversion factor was zip. Zero. Nada. Non-existent. And yet here I stand 14 years and 4 degrees later getting a total charge out of preaching God's Word in a pulpit of a church where the majority of the congregation doesn't even know me. That, my friends, is a flat-out miracle. I thoroughly enjoy preaching in my own church, but it is home to me. I was born and raised in that church and the congregation is very much my family so the fear factor has long since diminished. I have also been a guest speaker at other UM churches in my community but again, have felt the security of being among friends and family. I have also had many opportunities to speak at community events through past jobs and as a member of various community organizations and I have learned to enjoy that as well. But yesterday was different, somehow. This should have been totally out of my comfort zone and yet it felt like the most natural thing ever. As I think about that and ponder the implications I am amazed, humbled and exhilarated all at the same time. When you get the opportunity to do something that feels so much like it "fits" - like it was exactly what I was meant to be doing at that particular time, it makes you stop and consider things for a bit.

I have a prayer, actually it's part of a hymn, that I say every day. Sometimes I say it a lot of times during the day when I am searching (begging!) for discernment from God. It says, "Lead me Lord. Lead me in Thy righteousness. Make Thy way plain before my face." It's hardly ever obvious but when I reflect back it's irrefutable that God does, indeed, answer that prayer for me. I just keep taking the next step that presents itself with as much faith as I can muster and the path has taken an obscenely insecure introvert and grown her into someone who is developing a passion for speaking God's Truth at any opportunity. And that, my friends, is a flat-out miracle. Thanks be to God.

2009-01-10T08:29:00.000-08:00

This is the last of a 3-part post from a recent sermon I preached at Avondale UMC called "Make Me Happy!" about deciding what your attitude toward life will be. I hope you have been blessed and perhaps inspired by the reading of it. B. =8- )

The third thing is to spread the happy around. The good news is that this is incredibly easy to do. Here is an article that was printed in the Times Union just last week – it says “Upbeat is tough to beat.” Apparently, happiness spreads faster and farther than we ever thought. A recent study published in the British Medical Journal followed more than 4,700 people over a 20-year period and found that people who are happy tend to rub off on the people around them, including friends, families, co-workers and neighbors. When one person was happy the chances that people they deal with regularly would become happy went up between 8 and 34% and a ripple effect followed that. Those influenced by a happy person influenced an average of three other people down the line although the ripple effect does begin to lessen as it spreads. The article says that if you’re looking for a gift that keeps on giving be a happier person and you’ll be passing on a blessing that spreads like a smile. I have always liked to watch the effect that being upbeat has on other people. It’s a fun little game you can play – whenever you are out doing your errands and you run across a grumpy, frowny person be extra nice and pleasant to them. It almost never fails that they will do a complete turnaround, it’s kind of a power trip, actually. At the very least it will stop them short because it’s so unexpected. We are so used to returning grouchiness with grouchiness. The “Random act of kindness” thing may seem a little trite but it really does work, especially when you return kindness for grumpiness. Happiness is more contagious than measles.

So what is it going to be with you? Will you settle for Cal’s brand of happiness? Will you just be “happy enough” – not giving much, not getting much, not expecting much? Or will you go for the gusto and make the effort to find joyful satisfaction in being who you are, who God intended for you to be? Fr. Powell suggests that a special piece of God’s truth has been given to each one of us and that the path to attaining that joyful satisfaction lies in sharing that truth with those around us.

In Psalm 16, David shows us how it is done. He writes:

1 Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.
2 I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."
3 As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.
4 The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips.
5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
11 You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

That seems to me to be the much better choice - to set the Lord always before me so that I will know the path of life and be filled with the joy of His presence. To have my heart be glad and my tongue rejoice. How can I not share that joy, that happiness with everyone I meet?

Watch your tone! ...

2009-01-10T08:24:00.000-08:00

The proverb says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Most arguments flare up not because of words, but tone of voice. Choose your words and tone carefully. Let love win today . . . in the high calling of our daily work.

--- Howard E. Butt, Jr., www.TheHighCalling.org

That one extra degree...

2009-01-05T17:54:00.000-08:00

I subscribe to an online newsletter Walk the Talk. Here is an excerpt from today's e-mail:
(212 is the one extra degree that causes water to boil and make steam. That one degree gives everyday water the power to move a train, just one more degree makes the difference.)

212° Indulge Your Good Side

You see the opportunity. You are aware.
But you’re busy.

“I need to be somewhere, doing something, otherwise I’d help.”

“Someone else will do it.”

“Someone else will pick it up.”

“Someone else will handle it.”

“It’s not my responsibility.”

212 approach
A person struggles. You help. A door needs to be open. You open it. A piece of trash is in your path. You pick it up and throw it away. A child needs some extra attention. You give it to them. A job needs to be completed. You do it.

Allowing one less opportunity of service or kindness fall to the wayside due to laziness each week will add 52 acts of inspiration to your year. Push it to two a week and you add more than 100. Imagine the possibilities.

Please feel free to share this newsletter with your friends, family and co-workers. You have permission to use this content in your newsletter or email system as long as you do not edit the content and you leave the links and this resource box intact. WALKTHETALK.com

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Decision, Part II

2009-01-04T19:39:00.000-08:00

The second thing is to adopt an attitude of gratitude. God wants us to be happy but He also wants us to be grateful. Those of you who are parents, how do you respond when your children are grateful for the things you give them? Doesn’t it bring you joy and make you want to give them more? And even if you are not a parent, it’s the same with friends and other family members – when the things you do for others are appreciated you are more likely to continue doing nice things. But if your child or friend or sibling or whoever doesn’t appreciate the things you do, how motivated are you to do more? Not very. God delights in you and me, He is delighted by us. That thought alone makes me happy, that God is delighted in my happiness. So I try to remember to be grateful. One of the tasks that therapists and counselors give their clients who are depressed is for them to write down things they are thankful for, even the smallest little thing. It helps them to focus more on what is good in their lives rather than dwelling on the bad. Writing a gratitude list is a great place to start learning to be grateful. I read an article in Simple Living about a woman who created a gratitude bracelet – she calls it her “gracelet.” It’s a bracelet of beads that she wears all the time and all throughout the day she will touch a bead and think about one thing she is grateful for. There is irrefutable research showing physiological and emotional benefit from counting your blessings – it’s good for your body and your spirit. You can actually physically change the neural pathways in your brain by doing a physical motion like touching a bead each time you have a positive thought. That is a powerful thing.

Brother David Steindl-Rast wrote, "Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy - because we will always want to have something else or something more." Brother David is a Benedictine monk who has been preaching the grateful life for more than 50 years, collaborating with colleagues like Thomas Merton and Henri Nouwen. He has a web site gratefulness.org that is just an excellent resource on learning to live a grateful life. This is an excerpt from his site on getting some perspective and being grateful:

* If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
* If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or wrath... you are more blessed than three billion people in the world, about 60% of the world population.
* If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep... you are richer than 75% of this world.
* If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
* If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful... you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

We're a fortunate group of people.

To be continued...

I've Got a New Attitude...

2009-01-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

Heh. Now I've linked Patti LaBelle and Chuck Swindoll forever in your psyche. Fun!
Anyhoo... here is something Chuck wrote that I swear to you is the gospel truth -
Love it. Learn it. Live it.

Attitude - by Chuck Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.

Our Daily Grin

2008-12-31T07:46:00.000-08:00

Here are today's interesting quotes and amusing stories from interesting sources:

Sour Godliness is the Devil's Religion - John Wesley

The story is told of the Methodist preacher, who, having been told at conference that he was to move, returned to his church to preach his farewell sermon on his last Sunday there. At the end of his sermon, he took his place at the door of the church and bid farewell to his parishioners. He noticed that one poor woman was weeping uncontrollably, obviously in a state of grief at his leaving. "Don't cry, sister," he said in an attempt to comfort the woman. "You know that even though I am leaving, the bishop is going to send you a fine preacher." "Yes," the woman said through her tears, "That's what they've been telling this church for twenty years and it ain't happened yet!" - Will Willimon, And The Laugh Shall Be First

It's Your Decision

2008-12-26T06:45:00.000-08:00

This is the first of three posts from a recent sermon I preached at Avondale UMC about how we have the power to choose, to decide, what our response to life's daily challenges will be.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~Abraham Lincoln

I think one reason why the world remains chronically unhappy is because we are under the impression that happiness is just a feeling. Which, of course it is, but that is not all that it is. Happiness is also a decision. Marriage Encounter, a world-wide marriage enrichment program teaches couples that love is a decision. People become disillusioned in relationships when the “feeling” of love begins to fade. Feelings change; they are ephemeral and despite all of our best efforts are never completely within our control. But when you make love a verb, an action word instead of a noun, a thing you discover that this you can control.

It is the same with happiness… we cannot hold on to or pin down the feeling of happiness. We all love the giddiness of feeling really happy. It is such a powerful feeling that we are constantly in search of ways to recreate it and that gets us into all kinds of trouble. If we make happiness a verb, however - if we make a conscious decision to be happy then we are in full and complete control of our happiness. It takes some work and determination, especially when circumstances or other people seem determined to squash all happiness but it can be done.

The first thing we have to do is to raise our awareness of gloom. That seems counter-productive, focusing on gloom when we’re trying to decide to be happy but it is very important. Gloom is an insidious thing, it’s like a cancer. Think about it… you probably have been in a situation where you have been a part of a group. Most often this happens in the workplace but it can happen in other places too, in any group situation such as a civic group meeting or even in a church. Things seem to be swimming right along and then all of a sudden, over there in a corner, somebody gets grumbly. Then the people in their immediate vicinity start to think, “Yeah you know, I’m unhappy about that too. And I really don’t like this other thing so much either!” And now, this topic and tone of conversation spreads and spreads, farther and deeper until the focus is all about all of the things we are unhappy about. It’s not something we set out to do intentionally but it seems to have just sneaked up on us and now we wake up to realize that we have become grumbly hateful when we really need to be humbly grateful.

Fortunately, if we are vigilant and watchful of our attitudes and our words we have the ability to prevent the gloom from gaining any traction or spreading. We make the decision to turn away at the first sign of gloom and grumbling. We simply refuse to participate. And when the gloom has nothing to feed on it starves to death. And good riddance. ...to be continued...

A Merry Heart is Good Medicine

2008-12-24T19:33:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 17:22 (King James Version)

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Proverbs 17:22 (New International Version)

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Welcome! This proverb is my very favorite, it is one I try to keep in my heart and mind every day. I'm one of those crazy optimists who like to see the good in things, in circumstances and in people. It can be tough sometimes to maintain a positive outlook when it seems as though there is some pervasive spirit that is determined to gloom up everything in its path. That's why some days I feel like I am living Pollyanna in an Eyore world. This blog is to be another weapon in my arsenal in my quest to spread the happy wherever I can. The world is desperately in need of more happy. We need more merry hearts and less dried up bones.